Can one more thing go wrong???!!!
- My only Uncle is in the ICU, my Mother is in the hospital,
- my dog almost died of chocolate poisoning (yes, it's a real thing),
- My cousin chewed me out for telling him about what has been floating around about his bio-angry and sour patch Mom... Maybe I should have left that part out, but someone's gotta tell him what everyone else is thinking. Anyways, he got livid, and I apologised, but in a "respect-my-views-as-well" way...
I'm truly really sad. I'm trying to joke around, but I really am up and down... I don't know how I to react to this. There are too many memories, emotions, good thoughts of the past with my Uncle, crazy divorces that happened to my Uncle and his family, many more things that I shouldn't be thinking, but I am. I'm angry, sad, vindictive, thoughtfully, meticulously, maliciously, vindictive, but then I'm happy all of the sudden and good with everything. I become understanding at times for no good reason. I wish that I was more understanding all the time, but then it fades and I go back to vindictive, sad, angry, mad, happy, emotional, great at communicating, horrible at communicating... on and on.
Is this normal???
This is the conversation with my cousin:
Me:
"Your father is in the hospital just thought you'd like to know.
Plus, your mother is trying to protect the family from your father. She does that by telling bold faced lies about your Dad. Just thought that you'd listen to your heart more than the Feud between our families.
Our family has been nothing but loving to you guys and now we're ostracized from your side because of the lies that have been told from your mother. And because your sisters and you have believed everything that she has said.
Try to remember the good times and the experiences you've had with us instead of anything that has been said or rumored about us and your father.
If you care about your father's life visit him in the hospital at Banner Desert off of southern and the 60. He is in the ICU. Room D202."
Cousin:
"Ok. Couple things.
"A) Your brother let me know, and has been keeping me posted. I'm driving up from Tucson today
"B) Don't presume to know my feelings towards my father, or have more knowledge of these topics from second and third hand accounts than one of the people who lived through it.
"C) I find it extraordinarily offensive that you would use this event as opportunity to attack another person.
"I hope you use this time to reflect on how anti-christian like this was to send. An attack when none was necessary.
"This is the last i want to hear on this subject."
Me:
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry that I got upset. There are stages of grief that everyone goes through, and one of them is anger. I have been in tears night and day over my Uncle. I know this is hard on you too. I'm truly sorry for reacting the way I did. You'll see that when more people go through hard times around you, that you'll react in similar ways as well. I have seen from first hand experience how your sisters have treated your father and it's appalling. I know that you aren't your sisters, and I assumed things that I shouldn't have. No one is perfect, especially someone who only experienced negative things from your Mother and the your sisters - I being that imperfect person who experienced negative things from them. I'm glad you got back to me, and I'm glad you're seeing your Dad soon. I hope that you haven't been told, or believed negative things about your father, that you haven't experienced. I know that your Dad isn't perfect, and that he does have a temper at times. I just want you to draw from your own experiences, and not what you've been told by anyone, if that's true or not. I hope this reaches you well.
"Christ saved the sinners, because they were sinners, not because they were perfect. Everyone's a sinner (including you and I).
"I would like to add that your father is and always will be a great influence in my life. There is not a day that I don't think about what he has taught me. Every time I come to a stop light, I think that he taught me to "Coast a while before you get to the light, and it'll be easier on the brakes.
"My family has been ostracized from that side of the family, except for my Uncle. I don't know why that is. My family thinks that it was Kathy, and your father says that it is, but who knows. The divorce might all be your father's fault, or it might be both your mother and father. I just know that divorce is ugly, and horrible for the parents and the children no matter how the feelings are sliced.
"I truly hope that you're going through counseling, because after what I saw, I needed counseling to get through the craziness of their marital problems, in the hopes that my Uncle could patch himself back together somehow. It made my heart ache. I'm sure it did yours too."
