Can one more thing go wrong???!!!

Can one more thing go wrong???!!!

• My only Uncle is in the ICU, my Mother is in the hospital,
• my dog almost died of chocolate poisoning (yes, it's a real thing),
• My cousin chewed me out for telling him about what has been floating around about his bio-angry and sour patch Mom... Maybe I should have left that part out, but someone's gotta tell him what everyone else is thinking. Anyways, he got livid, and I apologised, but in a "respect-my-views-as-well" way...

Just hoping that when I say this that whoever is reading this, they will give me 2 Billion Dollars for my grief and pain. Just sayin thanks in advanced. Your money will be put to good use getting a ticket around the Moon, paying off debt, and getting a house with a vacation home to go to every summer. Plus a few miscellaneous expenditures...

I'm truly really sad. I'm trying to joke around, but I really am up and down... I don't know how I to react to this. There are too many memories, emotions, good thoughts of the past with my Uncle, crazy divorces that happened to my Uncle and his family, many more things that I shouldn't be thinking, but I am. I'm angry, sad, vindictive, thoughtfully, meticulously, maliciously, vindictive, but then I'm happy all of the sudden and good with everything. I become understanding at times for no good reason. I wish that I was more understanding all the time, but then it fades and I go back to vindictive, sad, angry, mad, happy, emotional, great at communicating, horrible at communicating... on and on.

Is this normal???

This is the conversation with my cousin:

Me:

"Your father is in the hospital just thought you'd like to know.

Plus, your mother is trying to protect the family from your father. She does that by telling bold faced lies about your Dad. Just thought that you'd listen to your heart more than the Feud between our families.

Our family has been nothing but loving to you guys and now we're ostracized from your side because of the lies that have been told from your mother. And because your sisters and you have believed everything that she has said.

Try to remember the good times and the experiences you've had with us instead of anything that has been said or rumored about us and your father.

If you care about your father's life visit him in the hospital at Banner Desert off of southern and the 60. He is in the ICU. Room D202."

Cousin:

"Ok. Couple things.

"A) Your brother let me know, and has been keeping me posted. I'm driving up from Tucson today

"B) Don't presume to know my feelings towards my father, or have more knowledge of these topics from second and third hand accounts than one of the people who lived through it.

"C) I find it extraordinarily offensive that you would use this event as opportunity to attack another person.

"I hope you use this time to reflect on how anti-christian like this was to send. An attack when none was necessary.

"This is the last i want to hear on this subject."

Me:

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry that I got upset. There are stages of grief that everyone goes through, and one of them is anger. I have been in tears night and day over my Uncle. I know this is hard on you too. I'm truly sorry for reacting the way I did. You'll see that when more people go through hard times around you, that you'll react in similar ways as well. I have seen from first hand experience how your sisters have treated your father and it's appalling. I know that you aren't your sisters, and I assumed things that I shouldn't have. No one is perfect, especially someone who only experienced negative things from your Mother and the your sisters - I being that imperfect person who experienced negative things from them. I'm glad you got back to me, and I'm glad you're seeing your Dad soon. I hope that you haven't been told, or believed negative things about your father, that you haven't experienced. I know that your Dad isn't perfect, and that he does have a temper at times. I just want you to draw from your own experiences, and not what you've been told by anyone, if that's true or not. I hope this reaches you well.

"Christ saved the sinners, because they were sinners, not because they were perfect. Everyone's a sinner (including you and I).

"I would like to add that your father is and always will be a great influence in my life. There is not a day that I don't think about what he has taught me. Every time I come to a stop light, I think that he taught me to "Coast a while before you get to the light, and it'll be easier on the brakes.

"My family has been ostracized from that side of the family, except for my Uncle. I don't know why that is. My family thinks that it was Kathy, and your father says that it is, but who knows. The divorce might all be your father's fault, or it might be both your mother and father. I just know that divorce is ugly, and horrible for the parents and the children no matter how the feelings are sliced.

"I truly hope that you're going through counseling, because after what I saw, I needed counseling to get through the craziness of their marital problems, in the hopes that my Uncle could patch himself back together somehow. It made my heart ache. I'm sure it did yours too."

Beyond Today

I try to piece together religion and science. I love science and I love religion. In my religion, Mormonism, we are taught to, "...say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things." Reference

If we are to believe all things, then we must make way for all things to be believed. That's my endeavor; and has been since 2005. I read that scripture and the prophesy that, paraphrasing states, "Sometime in the future, the truth of the scriptures will be able to be proven, but most people still won't believe it." I wanted to prove the scriptures right through science. This "quest" has taken me to study biology, technology, physics, science, and scriptures in droves. I have poured over AI texts, Quantum science, Mathematical equations - The edge of the universe. It's getting very close to being proven. Some of my recent thoughts are below:

I have been up listening to talk shows on physics, science, science fiction and the like. Some of my favorites have come from Neil deGrasse Tyson's channel on YouTube: StarTalk Radio Show. He is a big figure for PBS. Some of the videos that I watched are testimonies to me that someday things talked about in the works of the gospel will someday be able to be proven.

There were a few shows that I watched. The first was:

It's kinda a funny photo, but it's quite serious. Then I watched:

After those short blips, I went to the heavy stuff:

I commented on this video, "My thoughts: Schrodinger's cat is fully alive and fully dead. It's biology. The cells within all things are being created and becoming dead at the same time. The difficulty with plastic/metal/ceramic computers is that creating something that degrades (Atomic degradation) and that creates itself, in tiny parts at a time, while transferring its information (DNA in bio), at the same time isn't here yet. The simplest way to create a computer that would truly be unending would be to transfer its information onto the next computer/being/cell/world/universe. To make it biological is the simplest way of doing this. The next step would be to remove the ability to forget the previous model of its consciousness (like your children having your experiences to learn from). Consciousness is the ability to replay an event and to learn from it on the stage of your mind!!!..."

One of the commenters (Richard Carte'), on the video below stated, "If we create different Universes by our own actions and decisions, then we do have free-will." My thoughts on this are, if we create a universe simply by our thoughts, than we should be very careful what our thoughts are. I wonder, are we going to live in a universe of our creation after our death? If that's true, then we REALLY need to watch our thoughts! And are our thoughts broadcast to God so that He can tailor that universe just for us?

In the Mormon religion, there are three areas of rest after death. The 1st is called the Celestial Kingdom. The 2nd is called the Terrestrial Kingdom. The 3rd is called the Telestial Kingdom. All three are superb, but in the Celestial you are given the gift to have children and to be a creator. With that in mind, I thought, "What if having children is simply being able to transfer your experiences to the next generation?" Is that the gift that's given in the celestial kingdom? Is it to have children and to have them with the ability to remember your life and anyone continuing down the line?

And then there's "being a creator." Does the voice of God thunder down and make things happen throughout history. I would think so. If that happens, from time to time, how can I get there? I have this thought that if God's voice were tied to a power of sorts, or an instrument, that would allow him to speak and have things happen, it would kind of be like Google Home, or a voice to text document, but on the size-of-a-universe scale. I would like to understand the intricacies of how He works. The scriptures say, in Genesis 1 KJV,

"1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day."

There is another part of Mormonism that is believed and that's, 
“As man now is, God once was: “As God now is, man may be.”
 - 5th President of the Mormon church Biography and Family Record of Lorenzo Snow (1884)

It seems that God used His voice to first create light by saying, "Let there be light." Is there a way to create electrons with someone's voice? And, do we do it all the time? Are we indeed creating things with our imaginations and communications? We should be VERY cautious with our words, if that's true. Do we manifest things into the universe by creating light (neuron pathways) in others minds, only to have it bounce back at us in positive or negative ways throughout eternity? That makes sense to me. Men and women will last a long time, and communications will last even longer, even if you don't believe in an afterlife. I hope that we realize just how important our interactions are with others. It could mean the creation or destruction of universes someday throughout time and space.

I couldn't end there, so I watched the final video referenced on this blog:

Lots of things are going through my head like: "There is a saying in Mormonism, "The Sun, The Moon and the Stars." It's basically referring to the three areas to go to after death, as described above. But is there more to it?
Am I looking past the mark?
I like to think - Simply stated. Is thinking, well, bad?

Is there a major consequence to our thoughts → actions → habits → destiny? 
Or is it just the three destinations of rest after death? Is there a huge difference between the three stages? 
Why do the three kingdoms matter so much?"


Maybe next time I'll hit on those questions.

Until then, adieu.

My Honest and continually changing thoughts about my religion

There are a lot of thoughts that I have about the church that I belong to. Some of these beliefs contradict common member beliefs. The member beliefs are sometimes wrong, but most of the time they are right (like the value to love one another and to serve). The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints has a couple names associated with it - LDS or Mormon (All the same thing). There are many churches that replicate the LDS church using a similar name, but in general, "Mormons" is a better known name for the original church that was founded around the year 1830 by Joseph Smith.

Now to the good stuff. Here are a few things that throw common member beliefs aside.

1: - In the Articles of Faith one of the beliefs are that - "We believe all things, We hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy we seek after these things" (https://goo.gl/54MsxL). And,

2: - Found in the book of Moses, Chapter 1 Verse 4. (Moses is a common book in Mormonism) - "And, behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands; but not all, for my works are without end, and also my words, for they never cease. 

"Wherefore, no man can behold all my works, except he behold all my glory; and no man can behold all my glory, and afterwards remain in the flesh on the earth." (https://goo.gl/ecF6Fs). 

This last LDS scripture further proves my point which I will discuss soon. 

3: - And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto Moses, saying: Behold, I reveal unto you concerning this heaven, and this earth; write the words which I speak. I am the Beginning and the End, the Almighty God; by mine Only Begotten I created these things; yea, in the beginning I created the heaven, and the earth upon which thou standest. (https://goo.gl/hIFPah). 

With that knowledge, it is easy to surmise that the things revealed to Moses and in the book of Genesis, of which these scriptures originated from, are from this earth, and

only what Moses could handle, while still being able to accomplish his journey on earth. That leaves a lot of unknowns; including the age of the earth (and the age of the universe), the types of natural selection that went on for who knows how long... etc. Basically, what we have is a tiny version of what is fully the history of the planet.

Another Thought of Mine:

There seems to be a lot of similarities to the Pre-Mortal Life story and scientists findings on fertilization in most plants and animals. Here is a video just in case you missed it in HS. Just think of the unfertilized egg like an intelligence without a spirit. That's just a thought, not much in the way of beliefs and facts matching up though, like 2/3rds getting a body, and 1/3rd not. The odds are way different in the discoveries made about human's process in that matter, meaning that the sperm are in the millions and only one gets to become human.

https://youtu.be/_5OvgQW6FG4

Spending Time with Family

I've been spending a lot more time with my family. My Mom is doing good. She had a couple of strokes at the end of 2015. She is recovering and has been doing better every day! Her speech is getting better, and her ability to eat more solid foods is getting better as well. It has been a full year and 2 months since the incident.

At nearly the same time, my wife got pneumonia and fell on the floor. The fire department came and brought her to the hospital. She had a 103 degree Fahrenheit fever. It was bad. While in the hospital, the people who worked with her, didn't let her walk and keep her strength up. After 3 weeks of not walking, she lost the ability to walk.

She was sent to a place to do rehabilitation. She has been there since Jan of 2016. She has done a lot to recover and is doing great! She gets in her wheelchair 2 times a week, does her exercises with the physical therapist every other day, and is doing great with staying healthy! She is going through a lot, but is keeping optimistic. The food there isn't the greatest for her. It has a lot of gluten (wheat) in the menu. She is gluten intolerant. They actually might be making a menu item called the "Julie Salad!" It has a bunch of items that will be bought especially for gluten intolerant people. That would be cool!

I personally have had a hard time dealing with these two events. Two of my most beloved women in my life are going through so, so much! I visit my wife daily, and I have been spending a lot more time with my parents. It has been nice to catch up with them! My Mom always says that she gets lonely. I miss having my wife around. We cooked together, took home the groceries together, talked about anything, had fun biking around on our human powered bikes, and just always loved each others company.  I still see her a lot, but not constantly like before. We had a great Thanksgiving in 2016! Our Christmas was great as well while she was in her rehabilitation center. Our holidays have been perfect! Tomorrow is the NFL super bowl for 2017. I am spending that time with my wife. The teams are the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons. We will have a great day! I worry about her. I know things are getting better. I hope that she can get all the help she needs. I try not to be lonely, but it's really hard to not have her around. She is so attractive to me. I just look at her and my heart skips a beat! I just wish that a person's weight didn't have an effect on their health, because I truly do like her the way she is. I'm just afraid of her having bad health because of it.

I don't have a steady job, so I make time for family more easily. I really like having my own business! I fix computers, make videos and do photoshop projects. I have my own website (http://creativepowerscomputers.com), and update it about every 6 months with news and advice concerning changing technologies and new ways to stay secure while browsing the internet and using apps. I built my first computer for my first client when I was 21 years old. That was in 2001. Building a computer was a lot cheaper than buying a new one those days. So business went well. Now it costs less to purchase a new computer instead of fixing one or creating one. I still do virus/spam/malware/scamming scans for computers. If, however, the computer is too old, I simply get my clients a good deal on a new or certified used computers. I transfer the data to the new hard drive and install Windows or Linux operating systems to their new/used computer.

I also do video creations from memories, for weddings, funerals, sports, and transfer home videos from camcorders to DVD's or digital. I transfer the videos to PC's, Tablets, Phones, or DVD's for any type of operating system (Mac, Linux, Windows, ios, or Android). I have integrated photoshop and illustrator artwork into my business as well. I have gotten a couple of offers to create or edit digital photos. Those projects are fun. Here are some before and after photos that I worked on:

Before: With arm

After: Without arm

Before combining: Photo 1

Before combining: Photo 2

After two photos have been combined:

That's about it for today. Have a great one! And I hope all of you watch the Super Bowl!